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Jan. 09, 2023 .5 min read

The topic is quite a lot, so we’ll be using an outline to help us navigate effectively.

A. What is Purity?

B. Why Purity?

C. Sexual Purity

D. Types of Relationships

E. Sexual Purity in Relationships

Sexual Purity


According to Merriam-Webster, Purity is the state of being pure, and to be pure is to be:

  1. unmixed with any other matter/​/pure gold

  2. free from dust, dirt, or taint//pure spring water


Please, keep those three definitions in mind.


Why should I be pure? Not only sexually, why should I be pure in any area at all?

Only the pure in heart will see God.

Matthew 5:8: “What bliss you experience when your heart is pure! For then your eyes will open to see more and more of God.

Don’t you want to see more and more of God? The key to seeing God, said by Jesus Himself, is to be pure in heart. And you can’t be pure in heart, and be dirty in your actions. Out of the heart proceeds the issues of life. Prov. 4:23. The first person to please with your life is God.

“You should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God… . For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.” I Thess. 4:3-5,7


First, let’s talk about us in relation to sex.

Sex isn’t evil. Sex is good. However, the creator created that goodness to be enjoyed only within the walls of marriage. Yes, our urge/feelings for sex don’t make us evil, because God created us with such, but allowing the feelings to become thoughts that fester which may/may not lead us to physical actions is evil. Enjoying the “goodness” of sex before marriage or with another person you’re not joined with is creating cracks in the wall for the enemy to get at you. Remember that much more important than having a wall without a crack or issue is the fact that we want to continue to see more and more of God (as seen earlier).

Talking about Sex, there is a big disclaimer: One can be a virgin and be sexually impure. Sex is beyond just the penis penetrating the vagina. It starts from the thoughts to any activity that sexually arouses you. So, if you’re not married and you engage in kissing, smooching, hugging, oral sex, sexting(via messages), masturbation, pornography, etc., you’re defiling yourself. In addition, whether you’re married or not, Masturbation and pornography are also sexual activities that defile a man.

In simple terms, Sexual Purity is keeping ourselves pure as regards Sexual activities. It is choosing not to sin against your own body. This applies to both single and married. (Purity is for all!)

I Cor. 6:18: This is why you must keep running away from sexual immorality. For every other sin a person commits is external to the body, but immorality involves sinning against your own body.

However, if you enjoy Impurity in your spinster days, you won’t become pure after your wedding night. This means you see God less and less and the wall of protection that marriage builds begins to have holes and cracks that can usher in many evils.


(Please, if you’re sexually attracted to a female/male like you, it’s not normal o. You’re under an attack. Speak to someone you can trust that has more understanding spiritually, so that you can be helped.)

Back to the types:

  1. Platonic Relationships (No strings attached, Sexual Purity can hold). 2 Cor. 6:14-18, Amos 3:3

  2. Dating (Trial and Error, No Commitment, No Plan, Sexual Purity can’t hold here, It is a testing ground for Immorality). 2 Cor. 6:14-18, Amos 3:3

  3. Courtship (Requires Convictions from God on both sides, Accountability, Commitment, There is a Plan, and Sexual Purity must hold). Ecclesiastes 3:1

So, how do I engage in Sexual purity in these relationships?


If you will stay sexually pure in a platonic relationship or courtship, you must:

  1. Know who you are. Psalm 49:20, Rom. 8 (Are you born-again? The flesh cannot please God.)

  2. Don’t be unequally yoked. I Cor. 15:33: So stop fooling yourselves! Evil companions will corrupt good morals and character. (Is that relationship meant to be? Are you accountable to a spiritual father/mother? What are your convictions? What are your plans? Is that relationship helping you serve God better or making you live in hypocrisy?)

  3. Flee every appearance of evil. I Thess. 5:22. (Don’t let the handshake turn to elbow shake, run for your life! Set appropriate boundaries. Focus! Don’t meet in dark or lonely places. Give yourselves space when your emotions are not cooperating with the Word of God.)

  4. Guard your heart with all diligence. Proverbs 4:23. (Watch what you hear, see, think, talk about, where you go, and who you walk with.)

  5. Walk with the Holy Spirit more than before; by strength shall no man prevail. Zech. 4:6. (We can do nothing of ourselves, only God can help you enforce those principles. Hide His words in your heart. Psalm 119:9)

    In conclusion: Are you single or married, set your heart on Jesus and ask for His help to stay pure so that you may see the Father here in this world and when eternity begins.

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