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When Mr R. becomes TOXIC...

Jan. 17, 2022 .3 min read

Thank you for all your beautiful responses to last week’s article. Indeed, we have a lot of things that every relationship we are in will demand for effectiveness and productivity. The question is not about whether you will have relationships or not, the question is “Will you pay the price required to see that relationship to fruitfulness?”

We are still on this Mr R. matter. You should go through the last article again (https://thelearnedtongue.com/blog/inevitable-mr-r/). The crux of the matter was that despite the inevitability of Mr R., maximum dividends only come when it stops being about just us. This is what gives the willingness to do everything you may need to do in that “ship.” In the words of the Bible, we should look also to the things of other people. Our goal must be to only do what will profit you and every party involved in that particular “ship.”

Moving forward, as common as sachet water is on Lagos streets is how common toxicity is becoming to many relationships; regardless of the kind it is. Whatever is toxic is poisonous/dangerous, and no poison/dangerous substance has ever been proven to be beneficial to the body no matter how beautifully packaged it is. There is something, however, that can attract an accolade for such substances; the label. They are always well labeled to tell whoever comes in contact with it about its content and what it is capable of doing when it comes in bare contact with a human being. This singular fact erases the excuse of ignorance. In the same way, a toxic relationship is usually very glaring, only that we decide to excuse the label away or assume that we will be immune to its effects.

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Though we have discussed not being concerned about just yourself, you should also remember that you are one of the members of the “ship.” Thus, you must be quick to identify things or actions that can impair your health spiritually, physically, mentally, socially, etc. How do you feel when you are with the person; comfortable or afraid? What is the frequent end of your discussions; way-forward or strife? What is the quality of work you both deliver; good or shabby? If you are to judge your future with the future you see about him or her; will you embrace it or seek a redress? On taking stock on why you entered the “ship;” is it progress or failure? After doing a premium of assessment; should it continue or be nipped in the bud?

The first step to freedom is acknowledging the state of bondage; else anything or anyone that promises freedom will be seen as an enemy. Ask yourself these questions and more, especially when the “ship” is meant to take you to the place called Marriage. You don’t want to keep ingesting a poison that will kill you sooner or later. “But I have invested a lot…” True, but you will not want to invest your last breath. The world still needs you, but it’s your choice to stay alive or not; spiritually, physically, mentally, financially, and socially.

What should you do when you find any glimpse of toxicity in a relationship? Find out in the next article…

Please, remember to drop your comments and questions, and freely share with all who need this.


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